Losing
by accioyana
Summary: Lauren finally told you, and you still love her, because no matter what, you love her.


So I'm done watching all four seasons of Lost Girl, and after season 4's finale, I needed this. I had to do this, for the safety of myself. I have never been this attached to a series and I mean this in a good way. Lost Girl, I have totally lost it and thank you for making my third week of summer bearable.

* * *

It was destiny, destiny that when you ran away from everything and ended up in that bar, that very bar a girl with a past horrible as yours, meet. You ended up giving that guy those drinks that would bind you and that girl sporting a wig. Great old' destiny, destiny that you are now standing in front of her grave.

You need her now more than ever, it hurts, it fucking does, but you're done crying. Done with all those bullshits, done with seeing all that you love, all that you care most hurt and die, right in front of your very eyes.

Kenzi, she's one of the main reason you are who you are today. She made you better, she made you sane, and most importantly she made you human, normal. As you stand there, memories of her flashes in short burst, you can feel your heart clenching for the ache.

You walk back to the car you and her rode for four years, going on adventures you never imagined you'd get yourself into. Almost losing each other for almost every venture, but at the end of the day, you two will still see each other back at that death trap of a building you and her claimed as a home. That home the two of you built, where you two got drunk, fought like real sisters, and kill enemies that try to slit your throat every now and then.

With the memories of your home, you decided against sleeping there for the night. You're driving fast enough to feel the wind brushing past you, you will get her back; you'll do everything to get her back.

You step out of the car and closed your eyes for a moment, at least you know that Lauren is safe, but it isn't enough. Your heart may have not been literally ripped from you, but when Kenzi went and sacrificed herself, it might as well be that.

You open the door to Lauren's and saw her standing with a piece of paper in hand, eyebrows meeting from end to end. You silently close the door behind; though it might have not been as quite as you think it was as Lauren's gaze broke from the paper and went straight to the door. She sees you, a sad smile crosses her lips, as you approach her, you saw her drop the paper she was holding on the table.

She meets you halfway, her hands grab your shoulders, you two began a staring contest for a few seconds, maybe minutes, you didn't know, you didn't care, and then you went for it. You wrap your arms around her, burying your head at the crook of her neck. You need this; you need to feel her to make sure that she is alive, that she wants you.

"I love you." Kept ringing and ringing in your head, but you can't seem to say it, then it was broken by the sound of Lauren's voice, it felt like you were being brought back.

"With everything that has happened and will happen," Lauren says, untangling herself from you and leading you to the couch, you wait for Lauren to sit down, instead of sitting beside her, you laid down and settle your head on her lap, her hand instinctively went and brush the strands of your hair, "I think it's time you know who I am, or who I was."

You fix your gaze upon hers and caress her cheek with your free hand, the other holding her hand. You simply said "Okay" and squeeze her hand.

You listen to her talk about her brother, how they were inseparable and keen on changing the world, but the idea of changing the world turned into blowing up pipelines using pipe bombs. You watch her eyes turn sorrowful as she talked about those 11 people dying because of her hands, because of her pipe bombs she trusted her brother with. Her eyes close, her lips move as she said she didn't know what became of her brother as she took off, that she regretted creating those pipe bombs every single day, that not once she wants to stop berating herself for being that, you watch her lips tremble as she said those words that once broke you two together, "I'm tired".

You sat up and cradle her face with your hands. You rest your forehead against hers, "Remember when we had to take down that tikbalang and Kenzi asked those troubled kids who knows how to make pipe bombs?", you felt her nod, "I thought the reason you raised your hand was because you were such a brilliant woman, I didn't know it was because you really had experience." She laughs, you're thankful that she didn't find your realization an insult.

"Lauren," You move your head a few centimeters away from hers, "Whatever you did in the past, whoever you were in the past," you took a breath before continuing, "Doesn't make me think less of you or make me love you less. I love you, Lauren more than you know. I do. You accepted me for killing those people, and don't you dare say it is different, I still killed them, but you love me still, right?" You can feel Lauren's hand bringing you closer, her lips presses on yours, and you savor the feeling of her soft sweet lips upon yours, never wanting to forget it.

"I love you, so much, Bo."

You succumb to the feeling of being with Lauren, you indulge with the comfort she is giving you, with the love, the faith, the trust, the honesty. You will bring Kenzi back, you will defeat that monster lurking in the corner of your heart, and you will be able to stay with Lauren for as long as you want alongside your family after all of this is done. But for now, you need more courage, more love, and you know Lauren can help with that, because love conquers all, right? And you badly hope it does.


End file.
